The Belle Isle Circus Bear
by Bill
The recent picnic on Belle Isle Circus attracted the attention of a bear hitherto unseen in the area. Whilst picnickers in the American west are warned not to feed the bears, such a warning hadn’t been thought necessary on Belle Isle Circus. The question now on everyone’s mind is, “Is the bear dangerous?” For an expert opinion, we spoke to Professor Lionel Fortescue from the Department of Bear Studies at Leeds University.
Interviewer: “Professor, is the bear dangerous?”
Professor Fortescue: “It was first sighted on Belle Isle Circus, So I’m going to stick my neck out and say it’s probably a circus bear. Since it will be used to being around humans, I’d say it’s highly unlikely to attack anyone.”
Interviewer: “Why has no one seen it before?”
Professor Fortescue: “It’s almost certainly been hibernating underneath Belle Isle Circus in the disused air raid shelter. The smell of the picnic food will have attracted it out.”
Interviewer: “Do you think the bear is at risk now that people know that it’s here?”
Professor Fortescue: “I’m not concerned about local residents who as you’ve seen today, are very protective of the bear. I’m extremely concerned though about the threat from Metro who want to fill in the air raid shelter as part of their trolleybus proposals. This would deprive the poor creature of its lair.”
Interviewer: “Would you say this means that the trolleybus proposals are unsustainable?”
Professor Fortescue: “I’d go further than that. They’re unbearable.”
